I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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