Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
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Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
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Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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