On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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