4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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