Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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