Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
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Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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