last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
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She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
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He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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