just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize