you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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