Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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