The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize