I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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