I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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