Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
honey bunches of taint.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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