If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Is it penis luge time yet?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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