This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize