i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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