And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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