its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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