Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Randomize
Follow @tfln