There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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