He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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