Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize