Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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