The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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