I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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