what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize