i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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