By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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