I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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