I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize