ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Little spoons don't ask big questions
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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