No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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