No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
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I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize