Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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