you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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