these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
barbara walters just said penis...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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