i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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