I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize