I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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