So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my being single is dangerous.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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