he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
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I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
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