hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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