so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
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The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
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Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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