based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize