Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize