Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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