I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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