i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize