I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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